Do you have a New Year's Resolution?...don't waste your time. Save your money and your effort. If you're not doing it now, you will never do it.
Change doesn't happen on a time or a date, it happens when you're ready. Nothing magically happens when the clock strikes midnight on January 1 except that you lie to yourself and create unrealistic expectations and proceed to place incredible demands on yourself that you can't possibly sustain.
Change is like trying to move a huge boulder (Like the one from Raiders of the Lost Ark). In the beginning it seems impossible to move. You push, you grunt, it moves a little only to roll back. You try your frigging best to get that SOB moving and it doesn't budge. Or maybe it moves so little, that all of your effort doesn't seem worth it. This is point when most people quit. You expect to get that thing moving with one or two shoves. But it doesn't work like that. It takes a while to get that potential energy stored up enough to get that thing moving an inch. Then somewhere along the line something happens, and it's starts moving!!! Slowly at first, but then it pick ups momentum. After a while a funny thing happens; you don't have to push that hard to keep that thing rolling.
Take fitness for example. First of all, the better in shape you're the "smaller your boulder is". The longer you are sedentary or the more you are out of shape the "larger your boulder". Once you're in shape or the better shape you're in the more time you can take off and the more you can "cheat." You can go on a week long bender and in a week be back where you left off. It's pretty incredible.
Remember Newton's Law of Inertia: "An object at rest will stay at rest, forever, as long as nothing pushes or pulls on it. An object in motion will stay in motion, traveling in a straight line, forever, until something pushes or pulls on it."
Objects (you) will have a tendency to stay at rest forever, while objects in motion tend to stay in motion or are easier to keep in motion with a lesser amount of force than is needed to set the object (you) in motion.
Listen, the hardest part it to set aside the time to do it. The other hardest part is to allow yourself to rest, miss and cheat. What happens over time is that you will want to cheat and miss less. Remember you can create good habits just like bad habits. There was a time you didn't smoke, drink or eat (yeah, I remember 3rd grade too). The only difference is that good habits are usually a lot more difficult to create. Hey if it were easy..you know the rest.
Be realistic, don't expect to quit smoking, loose weight or anything else in the time "As seen on TV". A lot of testimonials are flat out lies, some before and after shots are done in the same day; check out the documentary "Bigger, Faster. Stronger". Also, quite a number of them are fitness models or people who were normally in shape, let themselves go and get in shape. I'm not saying that results like this can't happen, you just need to manage your expectations.
If you have not done any physical activity in the past 7 to 10 years you need to give yourself about 3 months of 4 to 5 times a week of regular exercise to see results (We break this down in Module 7 of the SDTS titled "Combat Conditioning"). It will take a solid year to get to where you think you should be. But even if it doesn't happen, who cares? ANYTHING IR TRULY BETTER THAN NOTHING.
So what's the big deal anyway? Why do you need to "Be All You Can Be?"
Because self improvement and learning leads to happiness. It's all about doing it better than the generation before you. that's progress. A better quality of life, physically, mentally and spiritually. The day you stop trying to learn and trying to improve is the day you die. Life is learning and improving. It's also about helping others to learn and improve at a faster rate. Kids, students, friends it doesn't matter. If you got a great deal on tire would you let your friend waste time and shop around or would you just tell him? Well if you're his friend you would tell him, if you're a dick, well you know...
The same should apply to martial arts, self defense and all sports activities. For some reason instructors get hung up on how much time you need to put in in order to be proficient. This type of thinking is ridiculous. Some people have a higher aptitude or certain activities while others don't. Using a time standard, you punish the person who has a talent, works harder and more often than the others. Also, if you're not promoting or seeing improvements at a faster rate then your teaching model needs to be updated. If it took someone 4 to 5 years to earn a black belt from the same instructor 20 years ago, don't you think that time should shorten over two decades? With the Self Defense Training System we are always looking for ways to get results faster through new and updated methods. We also accomplished faster results by streamlining techniques and eliminate all the fluff and extras with regards to self defense.
At the end of the day, what we are all talking about when it comes to changing your life is about achieving a greater happiness. A better job, get in shape, stop smoking, learn to protect your self, have more sex, less sex, better sex or no sex at all. It all leads to being happy. Learning and understanding how to enjoy life. Happiness comes internally. It's almost as simple as deciding that you're not going to be miserable anymore. It is a fact, that if you're financially secure, it's one less thing to think about, but it does not guarantee happiness. I've been both poor and rich and have both poor and extremely wealthy friends and I can tell you, the rich ones can be just as miserable. Yea, I know, I want to punch rich people when they bitch, too. But the fact remains, external factors don't make you happy.
You can go through life miserable or you can go through life happy. I've met stage 4 cancer patients with more upbeat attitudes than people who have their health, a family and gainfully employed. Because it's not the goal that matters, it's the journey. When I was a kid I thought about what was it about scoring a touchdown I liked the most? Wast it before, during or after? The answer was clearly before and during. The preparation and the struggle to your end goal is what I enjoyed. After it was over, well, it was over.
The Book "The Legend of Bagger Vance" makes the point "Life is not a game to be one, it's a game to be played." Because when we're dead, we all go to the same place. Face your fears, get out of your comfort zone and above all, become a better friend, brother, sister, husband, wife, teacher, street sweeper. What ever you do and who ever you are, just do it better.
You don't need to be thinner, taller, richer or better looking. You just need to be the best you you can be. The rest will happen.
So what the hell does this have to do with kicking ass and self defense? It's all connected. Living a safer, healthier life without all of the BS that you are forced to endure to get simple questions like "Can you just show me what I need to protect myself?" answered.
Happy New Year,
Until next time, Train Honestly,
Damian Ross, CEO The Self Defense Company
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2 comments:
Damien:
Great prospective on the New Year's Resolution hype. People spend millions on B.S. gimmicks they never follow through on. People look for the"quick fix" for their most difficult problems in this world. Reality is that their is no quick solution. You have correctly pointed this out.
I believe incommitment, hard work and honesty. Your self-defense program is a dynamite method to acheive all the physical goals I have set for myself on a long-term basis.
Training hard
Tim M.
Hey Damian,
Great post. I think half the problem is that we are all seduced by the false time frames that are advertised and promoted in most media.
Whatever happened to the idea that if it was easy, everyone would have achieved it. Doing what it takes, and putting the time in is just the price we have to pay for getting what we want. No if's, or but's.
PS: You have the natural attributes of a great teacher. I really enjoy your "mindset" posts (for want of a better word.) If you every put together a product about goals, attitude, instinct, ect, I'd snap it up in a New York minute.
Happy New Year.
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