The 15 Second Legacy

Having children changes everything. When my wife gave me a daughter, I was happy. Daddy's little girl. At least now I know someone will be taking care of me in my old age. And when my wife gave me a son, I held him like Simba on Pride Rock. He is my son and he will be GREATER THAN I EVER WAS!!!

The one thing every parent wants for their kids is to do better, have a better life than you have. One of the ways you measure this is in sports. My wife and I both being athletic lived under the assumption that we would spawn children that would make the furor jealous. As we get on in age we look to pass the torch to our children so they may travel forth, swifter, higher, stronger!

One of the sports I've competed in was wrestling. I was fortunate enough to experience competition on all levels in High School and Division 1 College. I knew the competition was getting serious when the guy I was wrestling didn't speak English. So imagine my pride when he told me he wanted to wrestle. I began coaching in the program and love going to practice with him. I never push him. In fact, I was calculating this perfectly. If I tell him "No" he will want to do it. I am the master of reverse psychology and I'm going to create a champion!!!

Now I need to be honest here. If you ask any serious wrestler if they like wrestling, it's a love-hate relationship. When I was a kid I was working out at Bucky Rehain's camp when one of his star wrestlers came to help coach, his name was Tom Husted. Husted was a NJ state champ and all-american for Lehigh. When he told me he didn't wrestle live anymore I was perplexed. Ironic as it seems, I wrestled for Lehigh and it only took one season to understand exactly what Tom was talking about.

Wrestling on the Division 1 college level is a grind. There is no easy practice partner. The easiest guy in practice is your region final match. So there is a part of me that would rather see my son want to do something...like golf. But no, he wants to wrestle and I'm not going to stop him. After all, he's Simba.

But that being said, there is no better builder of character than the sport of wrestling. It teaches you about sacrifice, self reliance and is really like life. We are born alone, we die alone and we wrestle alone.

It's also the "fairest" sport in the world. Few sports will match you against someone of the same size and age. In America, it's the only high school sport that does that. You don't need to be fast, tremendously strong, hit a ball, shoot a basket or throw a touchdown. Plus, it's the only activity that will guarantee you will win EVERY school yard fight.

I don;t want to push my son. My plan is to let him practice and not compete until he's practically begging me. And this year was the year. This year he "told me" that he wanted to wrestle in matches. I first told him "No", but he begged me and I acquiesced. My master plan was unfolding according to plan. From that point forward I had him practicing moves on me, on his mom, on his sister, the dog. Friends and neighbors marveled at his skill. He practiced single and double legs. He threw the half with reckless abandon. In practice, no one could hold him down...he was an animal.

Come match day he was good to go, I mean really chomping at the bit. he couldn't wait to get out there and tear his opponent limb from limb! His opponent had no idea of what fate lay in store. I felt sorry for the kid; facing my son's pedigree and training, it wasn't really fair.

They called his name and he checked in and took his place on the mat. His got into his stance and looked mean. Now it's time for my boy, my son, to take his place at the table. The whistle blew and he shot a single leg, picked it up in the air and as he was going to trip his opponent and seal his fate, he put his arm across my son's neck. Upon feeling that my son was reduced to tears and began yelling that he was choked. The ref immediately stopped the match, but the damage was done. My son was inconsolable and could no longer continue.

My son is 6.

It's that moment I realize what every parent realizes, it's OK. No matter what you do it's OK. Do I wish he toughed it out, sure...I wish he kicked the kid's ass, but he didn't and that's OK. Because as much as your kid wants to please you, we want to love them.

Will he wrestle next week? Probably, but I already told him no and that he has to wait and he's begging me to do it because now he swears the choke will not bother him because he knows the defense. Which apparently is MY fault for not teaching him, of course.

Will he be the next great athlete? Who the hell knows, when it's all said and done, I just want him happy.

Train Honestly,

Damian Ross, CEO The Self Defense Company


Damian Ross is CEO of the Self Defense Company and developer of The Self Defense Training System, the most lethal and effective self defense system in the world, The Guardian Defensive Tactics Police Combatives Program, 60 minute Self Defense and the Family Safe Program. Mr. Ross also founded the Self Defense Instructor Program that helps people develop their self defense careers from the ground up. Mr. Ross is originally from Ridgewood, NJ where he was a High School Hall of Fame Athlete in football and wrestling as well as a varsity wrestling coach. He then went on to Lehigh University where he was a varsity wrestler and football player. Mr. Ross has 3 black belts, 4th Degree in Tekkenryu Jujutsu, 2nd Degree in Judo, 2nd Degree in Tae Kwon Do. In addition to his martial arts experience, Mr; Ross spent 8 years in the professional security and personal protection business. He is internationally recognized as one of the foremost authorities in reality based self defense.