Don't let the fancy belts, trophies and titles fool you. The martial arts are filled with wussies. I've known guys who were terrors in the ring and push overs in the street. I've known men who were awesome street fighters who barely spent time in the gym and I've also known men who were bad asses before they ever started training. Some got worse when they started believing the bullshit, others became unholy terrors who you didn't want to mess with even on their worst day.
Let's get one thing straight, I'm not sadistic and I don't enjoy when people get injured or hurt. That being said, I will not hesitate to act if I feel there is the chance of me or my loved ones being endangered in anyway. I really don't mean to glorify violence...OK maybe in an effort to get your attention to buy product...moving forward, the fact remains that people who do not live violent lives need to understand the reality of what it takes to survive in the real world. In order to survive and win you must adopt and attitude of "whatever it takes" and "at all costs." The predators in the world are willing to take the next step, regular people with jobs, mortgages and taxes, for the most part, do not know how are when to take that step. This is where I come in.
If you chose the doctrine of "Non-violence" and are willing to be raped, robbed, murdered, harassed and bullied in order to live by your principals of being "civilized" and "non-violent" then I really have nothing to say to you. The irony is, it's these "non-violent" people are the ones who object the most violently.
My philosophy is simple, let's call it the Guard Dog State of Being. You can play with me and cuddle with me. I'll play fetch, take pictures with stuff strapped to my head for the Christmas card, whatever you want as long as everybody's safe. But as soon as there's danger, the switch gets flipped and I will rip through you like tissue paper. I don't care who you are, you better pack a lunch because it's going to be a long day. Now after the threat is gone, the switch goes off and I'm back to playing fetch. No intellectualizing, pontificating or analyzing, just doing my job.
Predators, bullies and other criminals are like rabid dogs. If you were walking in the park and came upon a rabid dog would you think twice about putting him down? No of course not. In the same breath, you'll be able to care and love for another dog without reservation. The problem these people have is that they project their reasoning skills and belief systems on criminals. They don't know what it's like to be strung out and desperate, they don't know what it's like to really not give a crap about human life, just give me what I want now.
The people who take this position are well-meaning but have no idea or have been extremely lucky when dealing with real criminals and predators in the outside world.
So after 30 plus years in the martial arts and self defense, I've heard a lot of bullshit. In fact, I've wasted more time learning useless crap than other guys have spent training. But the one thing I can't stand is the martial arts wussy. This is the guy who has watched too much Kung Fu and read the Tao of Pooh one too many times. He loves being the Mr. Miyagi type (incidentally it when Miyagi had to kick a little 18 year old ass...he did!) The living Yin and Yang, the embodiment of the martial spirit, Confucius of the strip mall.
(Coughs..horseshit!) These guys are living a fantasy if they think they can "diffuse" any situation by talking. This strategy will work when: the predator just wants to verbally abuse you and doesn't feel like having a physical confrontation or the predator isn't really a predator, but a blowhard who when faced with someone who is willing to go the distance, will back down.
That being said, I occasionally get the following arguments from the "non-violent" sect in the martial arts world. These are the people who will be the first to tell you about their training and accomplishments. These are the guys who have the trophies lined up around their homes. These are also the guys who can't fight worth a damn outside the ring.
The following is the RED FLAG LIST of a Martial Arts Wussy
1. "Violence Never Solved Anything"
In the words of the late comedian Richard Jenni, "Violence may not have solved anything, but it sure stops a lot of shit." In most cases violence or the threat of violence is the only thing that does solve anything. If that wasn't the case cops and soldiers would be armed with stuffed animals a patchouli oil. You can compromise all you want, but there is a line that can't be crossed. Tactically, it comes down to distance. Say all you want, but if you cross that line, it's over.
2. "I teach violence but I'm against it."
You teach violence? I teach people how to realistically defend and defeat violence. Now I know they mean, I teach people to deal with violence but I couldn't help myself. But really, it all depends on your definition of violence. If violence is unprovoked and unjustified then I'm against it. If it is provoked and justified, I'm all for it. Nothing sets the record straight like an old fashioned ass whooping.
3. You can always "reason" with the attacker.
This only works if you end on the attacker's terms. Most scumbags will take and take until you're in over your head. When you clearly indicate that you are not to be taken lightly you either leave or engage. The longer you wait, the less of an advantage you have while said scumbag musters his forces.
4. Nobody "WINS" a fight.
Well, it's clear to me who the winner is. See the one walking away, he's the winner. See the one lying in a pool of his own piss and blood, there's the loser...any questions? Of course somebody wins the fight, my grammar school kids know who wins the fight. Don't take me down the spiritual road because I've won a lot of fights and every time I felt pretty damn good about it, mainly because I wasn't the other guy.
5. You may in the fight, but you'll lose in court.
When people start talking about the legal ramifications of defending what you think is right I give them the big GB (get bent). So what you're telling me is that money and the cost to defend your actions is more valuable than what you think is right, your life or the lives of the people around you. Defending your actions depends more on the lawyer you have and the jury or judge you pick. The laws of self defense are vague but it all comes down to: was your life in danger, did the attacker show intent on injuring you and was the attacker capable of inflicting serious injury. Some states have "exit at all costs" laws where you are required to leave no matter what. This gets problematic when you can't leave the scene. It all goes back to lawyer, judge and jury. But that still doesn't solve your problem...what do you do in the heat of the moment? Hey, you may be happy getting sand kicked in our face and hanging your manhood on "financial" and legal. Me, I'm not compromising my manhood for anything.
6. Just walk away from bullies.
Easy for you to say. We've all had to deal with bullies and we were all taught to stand up to them. There's many a kid who spent time hitting the heavy bag thinking about that bully. We were taught to stand up to him and let him know that I'm going to fight back every day until you stop. Nowadays there is a zero-tolerance policy against fighting and bullying. This is good for paper work but bad for kids. Bullying is wrong but it's a right of passage. What happens when you;re bullied at work or in the real world. What quality of life are you creating? I remember being terrified of an older kid when I was in 3rd grade. But I was pushed to the point where one day I had enough and I kicked his ass all over the playground (thanks to two years of wrestling!). That kid did not bother me or my friends ever again :).
Today the programs against violence n schools are a joke. They don;t have an answer for the "Then what?" question. As in, when the reasoning doesn't work, when the deescalation breaks down and we are backed into a corner..then what? The best answer I have heard was "take a self defense course." But don't think they are going to recommend one. Because of perceived legal exposure, you're not going to get any recommendations. This is where we step in, I'm going to show you exactly how to systematically take someone apart.
Listen, you can quote all of the Bruce Lee you want, but at the end of the day, it's what you are willing to do for what you're willing to risk. The Japanese have the expression "Save face" which loosely means, "Don't make me look weak." Sometimes, somethings are not worth it. But I ell you this, I don't fight the world, I never have, I just don't let people push me around. Am I fighting over a parking space, no but if you do something that causes the people I care about discomfort, I will let you know. That's how I choose to live my life. The problem I have is that people know they're right, they know what they want to do but they are just too scared to do anything about it then they hide behind quotations and dime store philosophy. Hey, I choose to live a life without fear. You can say what you will, I've worked in some of the roughest parts of North Jersey, New York City and Pennsylvania. Don't tell me I don;t know violence. The problem is, I know it all to well and still I tolerate other opinions in hopes of reaching the person reading this blog who doesn't want to post, but just wants the truth.
The Self Defense Training System, The Most Lethal Self Defense Program in the World
Damian Ross
The Self Defense Company
Martial Arts
Self Defense
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4 comments:
Damian - the last two posts on your blog are pure gold. Your teachings on "mindset" are just as valuable to me as any technique I've learned in your program. Cheers.
I grew up as a big fan of 'Kung Fu'. (Didn't we all?)
The show embodied noble sentiments, that we might all aspire to live by, but hey, even Caine whopped the bullies whenever it was justified.
I'll be honest and say that it's taken me a long time to get used to Damian's "aggressive" no fear philosophy.
But as I get older and learn more about how the world really works, I think he's becoming my new Master Po!
Like the song by Kenny Rogers says, "sometimes you got to fight when you're a man". But, hey, sometimes you can choose not to fight, and still be a man. Either way, be prepared when it is not your choice.
Thanks guys, I still think there's hope.
Rich, love the quote and AF, "Snatch the Black Jack from my hand" (Module 11)
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